After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
> >>>
> >>>The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
> >>>
> >>>Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
> >>>
> >>>Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
> >>>By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
> >>>
> >>>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> >>>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> >>>*
> >>>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> >>>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
> >>>*
> >>>P: Something loose in cockpit.
> >>>S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> >>>*
> >>>P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> >>>S: Live bugs on back-order.
> >>>*
> >>>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
> >>>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground..
> >>>*
> >>>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> >>>S: Evidence removed.
> >>>*
> >>>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> >>>S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> >>>*
> >>>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> >>>S: That's what friction locks are for.
> >>>*
> >>>P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
> >>>S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
> >>>*
> >>>P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> >>>S: Suspect you're right.
> >>>*
> >>>P: Number 3 engine missing.
> >>>S: Engine found on right wing after brief
> >>>search.
> >>>*
> >>>P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
> >>>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
> >>>*
> >>>P:Target radar hums.
> >>>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
> >>>*
> >>>P: Mouse in cockpit.
> >>>S: Cat installed.
> >>>*
> >>>And the best one for last
> >>>*
> >>>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
> >>>S: Took hammer away from the midget.
